How to win friend and influence people summary
.”PRINCIPLE 1 - Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are
As the old couplet says: “Once I did bad and that I heard ever. Twice I did good,
but that I heard never.”?
Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points.arouse in the other person an eager want.
He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely
way.”
Henry Ford"If there is any one secret of success, it lies in
the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person’s
angle as well as from your own.”
They don’t realize that neither you nor I want to buy anything. If we did, we would go out and buy it. But both of us are eternally interested in solving our problems. And if
salespeople can show us how their services or merchandise will help us solve our
problems, they won’t need to sell us. We’ll buy. And customers like to feel that
they are buying - not being sold.
How can I tie up what I want to what he wants?”
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying
to get other people interested in you
Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in
themselves and their wants and problems
then they are in you and your problems�
The desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature, this urge that differentiates us from the animals
Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.”
Never argument
Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly
convinced than ever that he is absolutely right.
Buddha said: “Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love," and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a
sympathetic desire to see the other person’s viewpoint.
"My wife and I made a pact a long time ago, and we’ve kept it no matter how angry we’ve
grown with each other. When one yells, the other should listen because when two
people yell, there is no communication, just noise and bad vibrations.”
Never say you are wrong
If you can’t be sure of being right
even 55 % of the time, why should you tell other people they are wrong?
If you are going to prove anything, don’t let anybody know it. that no one will feel that you are doing it.
saying: “Well, now, look, I thought otherwise, but
I may be wrong. I frequently am. And if I am wrong, I want to be put right. Let’s
examine the facts.” this is the proper way to opposite other thought
If u r wrong admit it
That policeman, being human, wanted a feeling of importance; so when I began to
condemn myself, the only way he could nourish his self-esteem was to take the
magnanimous attitude of showing mercy.
Isn’t it much easier to listen to self-criticism than to
bear condemnation from alien lips? Say about yourself all the derogatory things you know the other person is thinking or wants to say or intends to say - and say them before that person has a chance to them. The chances are a hundred to one that a generous, forgiving attitude will be taken and your mistakes will be minimized just as the mounted policeman did
with me and Rex
Begin in a friendly way a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of
gall." So with men, if you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that
you are his sincere friend.
make other people say yes yes
The next time we are tempted to tell someone he or she is wrong, let’s remember
old Socrates and ask a gentle question - a question that will get the “yes, yes”
response.
Let other people talk
No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold something or told to do a thing. We
much prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own
ideas. We like to be consulted about our wishes, our wants, our thoughts.
If, as a result of reading this book, you get only one thing - an increased tendency to
think always in terms of the other person’s point of view, and see things from that
person’s angle as well as your own - if you get only that one thing from this book, it
may easily prove to be one of the stepping - stones of your career.
�
9)be sympathetic to other ideas. The one major factor that
motivated people was the work itself. If the work was exciting and interesting, the
worker looked forward to doing it and was motivated to do a good job
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing
Resentment. This could be easily overcome by changing the word "but" to "and." “We’re really
proud of you, Son, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same
conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others.”
I have no right to say or do anything that
diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what
he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.”
Let me repeat: The principles taught in this book will work only when they come
from the heart. I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of
life.
PRINCIPLE 7 - Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to that reputation Mr Henke had given him to live up to, how could he do anything else but turn out work comparable to that which he had done in the
past.
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